You might like this translation of Homer's Iliad

This modern translation of Homer's Iliad is fast and direct. It is a line-for-line rendering of the full text of the classical epic into spoken English presenting Homer as his own contemporaries may have heard him.

The translation may be read aloud, with proper pauses at the end of lines and an emphasis on rhythm - or even intoned out of doors, as was the original.

It is available as e-book on amazon.com. Please contact the estate(â)michael-reck.com for stage, audio, video or film rights.


English Tongue Twisters

1st International Collection of Tongue Twisters
www.uebersetzung.at/twister/en.htm © 1996-2013 by Mr.Twister

Please click on the number above the tongue twister for a rough translation;
You can use this form to submit a new tongue twister.

1

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

2

I saw Susie sitting in a shoe shine shop.
Where she sits she shines, and where she shines she sits.

3

How many boards
Could the Mongols hoard
If the Mongol hordes got bored?

from the comic Calvin & Hobbes, by Bill Waterson

4

How can a clam cram in a clean cream can?

5

Send toast to ten tense stout saints' ten tall tents.

by Raymond Weisling

6

Denise sees the fleece,
Denise sees the fleas.
At least Denise could sneeze
and feed and freeze the fleas.

7

Coy knows pseudonoise codes.

by Pierre Abbat

8

Sheena leads, Sheila needs.

9

The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.

10

Something in a thirty-acre thermal thicket of thorns and thistles thumped and thundered threatening the three-D thoughts of Matthew the thug - although, theatrically, it was only the thirteen-thousand thistles and thorns through the underneath of his thigh that the thirty year old thug thought of that morning.

by Meaghan Desbiens

11

Can you can a can as a canner can can a can?

12

Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.

13

You cuss, I cuss, we all cuss, for asparagus!

from a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson

14

Roberta ran rings around the Roman ruins.

15

Clean clams crammed in clean cans.

16

Six sick hicks nick six slick bricks with picks and sticks.

17

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

18

Stupid superstition!

19

There was a fisherman named Fisher
who fished for some fish in a fissure.
Till a fish with a grin,
pulled the fisherman in.
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.

20

World Wide Web

21

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

by W.S. Gilbert of Gilbert and Sullivan from The Mikado

22

Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut-Butter, 'tis the peanut-butter picky people pick.

from a commercial

23

If Stu chews shoes, should Stu choose the shoes he chews?

24

Luke Luck likes lakes.
Luke's duck likes lakes.
Luke Luck licks lakes.
Luck's duck licks lakes.
Duck takes licks in lakes Luke Luck likes.
Luke Luck takes licks in lakes duck likes.

from Dr. Seuss' Fox in Socks

25

Seventy seven benevolent elephants

harder than it seems

26

There those thousand thinkers were thinking how did the other three thieves go through.

27

Santa's Short Suit Shrunk

name of a children's book

28

I was born on a pirate ship

Hold your tounge while saying it.

29

I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!

30

Wayne went to Wales to watch walruses.

31

In 'ertford, 'ereford and 'ampshire, 'urricanes 'ardly Hever 'appen.

from the film "My Fair Lady"

32

One-one was a race horse.
Two-two was one too.
One-one won one race.
Two-two won one too.

33

Eleven benevolent elephants

34

Celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, celibate celebrant, ...

35

Willy's real rear wheel

David Bowser in Harrisburg, PA

36

If Pickford's packers packed a packet of crisps would the packet of crisps that Pickford's packers packed survive for two and a half years?

from Naomi Fletcher's real life

37

Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards

38

Gobbling gorgoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.

39

Did Dick Pickens prick his pinkie pickling cheap cling peaches in an inch of Pinch or framing his famed French finch photos?

40

Pirates Private Property

41

What a terrible tongue twister,
what a terrible tongue twister,
what a terrible tongue twister...

42

When you write copy you have the right to copyright the copy you write. ...
continued here

43

A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!

by Kitty Morrow

44

Elizabeth's birthday is on the third Thursday of this month.

45

Ann and Andy's anniversary is in April.

46

Flash message!

47

Frogfeet, flippers, swimfins.

48

Hassock hassock, black spotted hassock. Black spot on a black back of a black spotted hassock.

49

How many cookies could a good cook cook If a good cook could cook cookies? A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.

50

How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? A groundhog would hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground.

51

How much pot, could a pot roast roast, if a pot roast could roast pot.

52

How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.

53

Mary Mac's mother's making Mary Mac marry me.
My mother's making me marry Mary Mac.
Will I always be so Merry when Mary's taking care of me?
Will I always be so merry when I marry Mary Mac?

from a song by Carbon Leaf

54

Mr. Tongue Twister tried to train his tongue to twist and turn, and twit an twat, to learn the letter "T".

55

Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.

56

She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?

57

Through three cheese trees three free fleas flew.
While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew.
Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze.
Freezy trees made these trees' cheese freeze.
That's what made these three free fleas sneeze.

from Fox in Sox by Dr. Seuss

58

Two tried and true tridents

59

rudder valve reversals

the cause of some plane crashes

60

Birdie birdie in the sky laid a turdie in my eye.
If cows could fly I'd have a cow pie in my eye.

61

How many cans can a cannibal nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans?
As many cans as a cannibal can nibble
if a cannibal can nibble cans.

62

Thirty-three thirsty, thundering thoroughbreds thumped Mr. Thurber on Thursday.

63

Four furious friends fought for the phone.

64

Plymouth sleuths thwart Luther's slithering.

65

Bobby Bippy bought a bat.
Bobby Bippy bought a ball.
With his bat Bob banged the ball
Banged it bump against the wall
But so boldly Bobby banged it
That he burst his rubber ball
"Boo!" cried Bobby
Bad luck ball
Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball
Now to drown his many troubles
Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.

from mid-Willamette Valley theater

66

Black background, brown background.

67

Why do you cry, Willy?
Why do you cry?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy? Why?

68

Very well, very well, very well ...

69

Tie twine to three tree twigs.

70

Rory the warrior and Roger the worrier were reared wrongly in a rural brewery.

71

Mares eat oats and does eat oats,
and little lambs eat ivy.
A Kid will eat ivy too, wouldn't ewe?

72

Three short sword sheaths.

73

Caution: Wide Right Turns

seen on semi-tractor trailers

74

Rolling red wagons

75

Green glass globes glow greenly.

76

Robert Wayne Rutter

personal name

77

I stood sadly on the silver steps of Burgess's fish sauce shop, mimicking him hiccuping, and wildly welcoming him within.

78

As I was in Arkansas I saw a saw that could out saw any saw I ever saw saw. If you happen to be in Arkansas and see a saw that can out saw the saw I saw saw I'd like to see the saw you saw saw.

79

black back bat

80

The queen in green screamed.

81

How many berries could a bare berry carry,
if a bare berry could carry berries?
Well they can't carry berries
(which could make you very wary)
but a bare berry carried is more scary!

82

What did you have for breakfast?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What did you have for lunch?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What did you have for dinner?
- rubber balls and liquor!
What do you do when your sister comes home?
- rubber balls and liquor!

83

Snap Crackel pop,
Snap Crackel pop,
Snap Crackel pop

84

Six slimy snails sailed silently.

85

I thought, I thought of thinking of thanking you.

86

Seven slick slimey snakes slowly sliding southward.

87

Red Buick, blue Buick

88

Roofs of mushrooms rarely mush too much.

by Matt Duchnowski

89

He threw three balls.

90

The great Greek grape growers grow great Greek grapes.

91

Singing Sammy sung songs on sinking sand.

92

We're real rear wheels.

93

Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch.

94

I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch.

95

Near an ear, a nearer ear, a nearly eerie ear.

96

On a lazy laser raiser lies a laser ray eraser.

97

Scissors sizzle, thistles sizzle.

98

Tom threw Tim three thumbtacks.

99

How much caramel can a canny canonball cram in a camel if a canny canonball can cram caramel in a camel?

100

He threw three free throws.

101

Fresh French fried fly fritters

102

Gig whip, gig whip, gig whip, ...

103

I was born on a pirate ship.

Say it while holding your tongue.

104

2 Y's U R.
2 Y's U B.
I C U R.
2 Y's 4 me!

105

Little Mike left his bike like Tike at Spike's.

106

Eddie edited it.

107

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don't eat with your mouth full!

108

Wow, race winners really want red wine right away!

109

The ruddy widow really wants ripe watermelon and red roses when winter arrives.

110

I'll chew and chew until my jaws drop.

111

Triple Dickle

a strong drink

112

How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets?

113

Supposed to be pistachio,
supposed to be pistachio,
supposed to be pistachio.

by Diane Estep

114

Chester Cheetah chews a chunk of cheep cheddar cheese.

from a high school singing class

115

Real rock wall, real rock wall, real rock wall

116

Argyle Gargoyle

117

Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, Peggy Babcock, ...

personal name

118

If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,
buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.

119

Two tiny tigers take two taxis to town.

120

Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

by Pierre Abbat

121

Willie's really weary.

122

Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!

by Mistah Twistah, Tony Valuch

123

Out in the pasture the nature watcher watches the catcher. While the catcher watches the pitcher who pitches the balls. Whether the temperature's up or whether the temperature's down, the nature watcher, the catcher and the pitcher are always around. The pitcher pitches, the catcher catches and the watcher watches. So whether the temperature's rises or whether the temperature falls the nature watcher just watches the catcher who's watching the pitcher who's watching the balls.

by Sharon Johnson

124

Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.

125

John, where Peter had had "had had", had had "had";
"had had" had had his master's approval.

126

Excited executioner exercising his excising powers excessively.

127

Pail of ale aiding ailing Al's travails.

from India

128

Double bubble gum, bubbles double.

129

If you can't can any candy can,
how many candy cans can a candy canner can
if he can can candy cans ?

130

Octopus ocular optics.
and
A cat snaps a rat's paxwax.

by Pierre Abbat

131

This is the sixth zebra snoozing thoroughly.

132

Salty broccoli, salty broccoli, salty broccoli ....

133

I saw Esau kissing Kate.
I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau.

134

A slimey snake slithered down the sandy sahara.

135

Suzie Seaword's fish-sauce shop sells unsifted thistles for thistle-sifters to sift.

136

I eat eel while you peel eel

137

Nothing is worth thousands of deaths.

138

Casual clothes are provisional for leisurely trips across Asia.

139

East Fife Four, Forfar Five

an actual football result from the Scottish third division

140

Roy Wayne
Roy Rogers
Roy Rash

personal names

141

11 was a racehorse,
22 was 12,
1111 race,
22112.

Wunwun was a racehorse, Tutu was one too. Wunwun won one race, Tutu won one too.

142

It's not the cough that carries you off,
it's the coffin they carry you off in!

143

She said she should sit.

144

Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Me me mo mi get me a mole,
Mo mi mo me send me a toe,
Fe me mo mi get me a mole,
Mister kister feet so sweet,
Mister kister where will I eat !?

145

Will you, William? Will you, William? Will you, William?
Can't you, don't you, won't you, William?

146

I wish you were a fish in my dish

147

She stood on the balcony, inexplicably mimicking him hiccuping, and amicably welcoming him in.

an actor's vocal warmup for lips and tongue

148

The big black bug bit the big black bear,
but the big black bear bit the big black bug back!

149

Dust is a disk's worst enemy.

150

I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?

151

Old Mr. Hunt
had a cuddy punt
Not a cuddy punt
but a hunt punt cuddy.

152

As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.

153

Mommy made me eat my M&Ms.

154

I'm not the fig plucker,
nor the fig plucker's son,
but I'll pluck figs
till the fig plucker comes.

155

A gazillion gigantic grapes gushed
gradually giving gophers gooey guts.

156

Aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum, aluminum, linoleum, molybdenum

157

Thin grippy thick slippery.

158

A tree toad loved a she-toad,
Who lived up in a tree.
He was a three-toed tree toad,
But a two-toed toad was she.
The three-toed tree toad tried to win,
The two-toed she-toad's heart,
For the three-toed tree toad loved the ground,
That the two-toed tree toad trod.
But the three-toed tree toad tried in vain.
He couldn't please her whim.
From her tree toad bower,
With her two-toed power,
The she-toad vetoed him.

159

The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

160

If you notice this notice,
you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

161

If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?

162

She sees cheese.

163

Brent Spence Bridge
Clay Wade Bailey Bridge

places in Ohio

164

Chukotko-Kamchatkan

pertaining to the Siberian people living in Kamchatka

165

There those thousand thinkers were thinking
where did those other three thieves go through.

166

Five frantic frogs fled from fifty fierce fishes.

167

One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they felt smart.
Four smart fellows, they felt smart.
Five smart fellows, they felt smart.
Six smart fellows, they felt smart.

168

Seven sleazy shysters in sharkskin suits sold sheared sealskins to seasick sailors.

169

I would if I could! But I can't, so I won't!

170

But a harder thing still to do.

What a to do to die today
At a quarter or two to two.
A terrible difficult thing to say
But a harder thing still to do.
The dragon will come at the beat of the drum
With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to
At a quarter or two to two today,
At a quarter or two to two.

from a college drama class

171

Love's a feeling you feel when you feel
you're going to feel the feeling you've never felt before.

172

Silly sheep weep and sleep.

173

Truly rural, truly rural, truly rural, ...

174

A turbot's not a burbot, for a turbot's a butt, but a burbot's not.

175

I know a boy named Tate
who dined with his girl at eight eight.
I'm unable to state what Tate ate at eight eight
or what Tate's tête à tête ate at eight eight.

176

The seething sea ceaseth; thus the seething sea sufficeth us.

177

Real weird rear wheels

by Michael Dworkin and Bill Harvey

178

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

179

A pessimistic pest exists amidst us.

180

Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
that is the way you spell New York.

Chicken in the car and the car can go,
that is the way you spell Chicago.

181

Five fuzzy French frogs Frolicked through the fields in France.

182

Two to two to Toulouse?

183

Swatch watch

184

Dr. Johnson and Mr. Johnson, after great consideration, came to the conclusion that the Indian nation beyond the Indian Ocean is back in education because the chief occupation is cultivation.

185

Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.

186

Buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood, buckets of bug blood

187

I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.

188

If coloured caterpillars could change their colours constantly could they keep their coloured coat coloured properly?

189

We won, we won, we won, we won, ...

190

Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.

by Julia Dicum

191

How much ground could a grounghog grind if a groundhog could grind ground?

192

How may saws could a see-saw saw if a see-saw could saw saws?

by Jillian Goetz

193

As he gobbled the cakes on his plate,
the greedy ape said as he ate,
the greener green grapes are,
the keener keen apes are
to gobble green grape cakes,
they're great!

from Dr. Seuss's O Say Can You Say?

194

How much myrtle would a wood turtle hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle?
A wood turtle would hurdle as much myrtle as a wood turtle could hurdle if a wood turtle could hurdle myrtle.

195

Shut up the shutters and sit in the shop.

196

Rattle your bottles in Rollocks' van.

197

A fly and flea flew into a flue,
said the fly to the flea 'what shall we do?'
'let us fly' said the flea
said the fly 'shall we flee'
so they flew through a flaw in the flue.

198

How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.

199

If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.

200

Bake big batches of bitter brown bread.

201

But she as far surpasseth Sycorax,
As great'st does least.

Caliban describing Miranda's beauty in "The Tempest", by William Shakespeare

202

Bake big batches of brown blueberry bread.

203

She sits in her slip and sips Schlitz.

204

Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?

205

Whoever slit the sheets is a good sheet slitter.

206

Mummies make money.

207

Crush grapes, grapes crush, crush grapes.

208

An elephant was asphyxiated in the asphalt.

209

A black bloke's back brake-block broke.

210

This is a zither.

211

Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.

212

There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminum pan.

213

Really leery, rarely Larry.

214

Big black bugs bleed blue black blood but baby black bugs bleed blue blood.

215

Elizabeth has eleven elves in her elm tree.

216

Her whole right hand really hurts.

difficult in Brazil

217

Come, come,
Stay calm, stay calm,
No need for alarm,
It only hums,
It doesn't harm.

218

Tie a knot, tie a knot.
Tie a tight, tight knot.
Tie a knot in the shape of a nought.

219

Red blood, green blood

220

I'm a sheet slitter.
I slit sheets.
I'm the sleekest sheet slitter
that ever slit sheets.

221

Busy buzzing bumble bees.

222

A lump of red leather, a red leather lump

223

Nat the bat swat at Matt the gnat.

224

I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.
I shot the city sheriff.

225

A lady sees a pot-mender at work at his barrow in the street.
"Are you copper-bottoming 'em, man?"
"No, I'm aluminiuming 'em, Mam."

226

I am not a pheasant plucker,
I'm a pheasant plucker's son
but I'll be plucking pheasants
When the pheasant plucker's gone.

227

Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.
All day long she sits and shines,
all day long she shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits,
and sits and shines, and shines and sits.
Suzie, Suzie, working in a shoeshine shop.

Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

sung by Ian Mackintosh

228

Preshrunk silk shirts.

229

Craig Quinn's quick trip to Crabtree Creek.

230

Six shining cities, six shining cities, six shining cities.

231

While we were walking, we were watching window washers wash Washington's windows with warm washing water.

232

A big black bear sat on a big black bug.

233

A bloke's bike back brake block broke.

234

Sweet sagacious Sally Sanders said she sure saw seven segregated seaplanes sailing swiftly southward Saturday.

235

Betty Botter bought some butter but, said she, the butter's bitter.
If I put it in my batter, it will make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter will make my bitter batter better.
So she bought some better butter, better than the bitter butter,
put it in her bitter batter, made her bitter batter better.
So 't was better Betty Botter bought some better butter.

236

How much oil boil can a gum boil boil if a gum boil can boil oil?

237

Good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood, good blood, bad blood.

238

No nose knows like a gnome's nose knows.

by the Hofman family

239

Freshly fried fresh flesh

240

There are two minutes difference from four to two to two to two, from two to two to two, too.

241

There once was a man who had a sister, his name was Mr. Fister. Mr. Fister's sister sold sea shells by the sea shore. Mr. Fister didn't sell sea shells, he sold silk sheets. Mr. Fister told his sister that he sold six silk sheets to six shieks. The sister of Mr. Fister said I sold six shells to six shieks too!

242

Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore. But if Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore then where are the sea shells Sally sells?

243

She stood on the steps of Burgess's Fish Sauce Shop, mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.

244

Swan swam over the sea.
Swim, swan, swim!
Swan swam back again.
Well swum swan!

245

Sally is a sheet slitter, she slits sheets.

246

She sells sea shells on the sea shore;
The shells that she sells are sea shells I'm sure.
So if she sells sea shells on the sea shore,
I'm sure that the shells are sea shore shells.

247

You know New York.
You need New York.
You know you need unique New York.

248

What noise annoys an oyster most?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster most.

249

Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.

250

Blake's black bike's back brake bracket block broke.

251

Each Easter Eddie eats eighty Easter eggs.

252

She slits the sheet she sits on.

253

A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed.

254

A twister of twists once twisted a twist.
and the twist that he twisted was a three-twisted twist.
now in twisting this twist,
if a twist should untwist,
would the twist that untwisted untwist the twists?

255

Red lolly, yellow lolly.

256

Mrs Hunt had a country cut front
in the front of her country cut pettycoat.

257

Knapsack strap.

258

John, where Molly had had "had", had had "had had". "Had had " had had the teachers approval

259

Miss Smith's fish-sauce shop seldom sells shellfish.

260

Great gray goats

261

Whether the weather be fine
or whether the weather be not.
Whether the weather be cold
or whether the weather be hot.
We'll weather the weather
whether we like it or not.

262

Sunshine city, sunshine city, sunshine city, ...

263

The batter with the butter is the batter that is better!

264

There's a sandwich on the sand which was sent by a sane witch.

265

How many yaks could a yak pack pack if a yak pack could pack yaks?

266

Twelve twins twirled twelve twigs.

267

If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker
it is slick to stick a lock upon your stock
or some joker who is slicker
is going to trick you of your liquor
if you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.

268

Clowns grow glowing crowns.

269

Can you imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?

270

Sister Suzie sewing shirts for soldiers
Such skill as sewing shirts
Our shy young sister Suzie shows
Some soldiers send epistles
Say they'd rather sleep in thistles
Than the saucy, soft short shirts for soldiers Sister Suzie sews.

271

Red leather, yellow leather, ...

272

IF IF = THEN THEN THEN = ELSE ELSE ELSE = IF;

programming language PL/I by Bruce Walker

273

Announcement at Victoria Station, London:
Two to two to Tooting too!

274

Richard's wretched ratchet wrench.

275

Rugged rubber baby buggy bumpers.

276

A box of biscuits,
a box of mixed biscuits,
and a biscuit mixer.

277

When a doctor doctors a doctor,
does the doctor doing the doctoring
doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or
does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor?

278

What to do to die today at a minute or two to two. A terribly difficult thing to say and a harder thing to do. A dragon will come and beat his drum Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-too at a minute or two to two today. At a minute or two to two.

Who is the author?

279

If two witches would watch two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

280

The soldier's shoulder surely hurts!

281

She sees seas slapping shores.

282

A loyal warrior will rarely worry why we rule.

by Ray Weisling

283

Greek grapes.

284

Mr. See owned a saw and Mr Soar owned a seesaw.
Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.

285

Six sick sea-serpents swam the seven seas.

286

There was a little witch which switched from Chichester to Ipswich.

287

A proper cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot.

288

Don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you! If you trouble trouble, triple trouble troubles you!

289

Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now, if Theophilus Thadeus Thistledown, the succesful thistle-sifter, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, while sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.

290

Shoe section, shoe section, shoe section, ...

291

A smart fella, a fella smart.
It takes a smart fella to say a fella smart.

292

She is a thistle-sifter. She has a sieve of unsifted thistles and a sieve of sifted thistles and the sieve of unsifted thistles she sifts into the sieve of sifted thistles because she is a thistle-sifter.

293

Admidst the mists and coldest frosts,
With stoutest wrists and loudest boasts,
He thrusts his fists against the posts,
And still insists he sees the ghosts.

294

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear,
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair,
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy,
was he?

295

Blue glue gun, green glue gun.

296

Toy boat, toy boat, toy boat, ...

297

Mallory's hourly salary.

298

I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, and on that slitted sheet I sit.

299

Don't spring on the inner-spring this spring or there will be an offspring next spring.

300

A flea and a fly in a flue,
were imprisoned. So what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee".
Said the flea, "Let us fly".
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

301

King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb.
A thousand thistles King Thistle stuck in the thistle of his thumb.
If King Thistle stuck a thousand thistles in the thistle of his thumb,
How many thistles did King Thistle stick in the thistle of his thumb?

302

Five fat friars frying flat fish.

303

The bottle of perfume that Willy sent
was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
that they quarreled, I'm told
o'er that silly scent Willy sent Millicent

304

Esau Wood sawed wood. All the wood Esau Wood saw, Esau Wood would saw. All the wood Wood saw, Esau sought to saw. One day Esau Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood. So Esau Wood sought a new wood-saw. The new wood-saw would saw wood. Oh, the wood Esau Wood would saw. Esau sought a saw that would saw wood as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau found a saw that would saw as no other wood-saw would saw. And Esau Wood sawed wood.

305

A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk,
but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.

306

Extinct insects' instincts, extant insects' instincts.

by Pierre Abbat

307

Sweater weather, leather weather.

308

One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue.

309

The big black bug's blood ran blue.

310

I am not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I am only plucking pheasants
'cause the pheasant plucker's late.

311

Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?

312

We will learn why her lowly lone, worn yarn loom will rarely earn immoral money.

by Ray Weisling

313

Unique New York, unique New York, unique New York, ...

314

If Dr. Seuss Were a Technical Writer.....

Here's an easy game to play.
Here's an easy thing to say:

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

You can't say this? What a shame, sir!
We'll find you another game, sir.

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to ram your rom.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

from the Unix fortune database, attributed to DementDJ@ccip.perkin-elmer.com in the rec.humor.funny newsgroup

315

Picky people pick Peter Pan Peanut Butter.
Peter Pan Peanut is the peanut picky people pick.

316

Ray Rag ran across a rough road.
Across a rough road Ray Rag ran.
Where is the rough road Ray Rag ran across?

317

Elmer Arnold

personal name

318

A Tudor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or
to tutor two tooters to toot?"

319

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Not a punt cut square,
Just a square cut punt.
It's round in the stern and blunt in the front.
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

320

Tim, the thin twin tinsmith.

321

Thin sticks, thick bricks

322

Red lorry, yellow lorry.

323

A big black bug bit a big black bear and made the big black bear bleed blood.

324

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? A woodchuck would chuck how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.

325

Larry Hurley, a burly squirrel hurler, hurled a furry squirrel through a curly grill.

326

Six twin screwed steel steam cruisers.

327

A nurse anesthetist unearthed a nest.

328

I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought
Wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought,
Had been the thought I thought,
I wouldn't have thought I thought.

329

She sells sea shells on the seashore.
The seashells she sells are seashells she is sure.

330

From the programmer's desk:
She sells cshs by the C shore.

331

A noise annoys an oyster, but a noisy noise annoys an oyster more!

332

Plain bun, plum bun, bun without plum.

333

Slick slim slippers sliding south.

334

The Leith police dismisseth us
They thought we sought to stay;
The Leith police dismisseth us
They thought we'd stay all day.
The Leith police dismisseth us,
We both sighed sighs apiece;
And the sighs that we sighed as we said goodbye
Were the size of the Leith police.

335

Ah shucks, six stick shifts stuck shut!

336

Meter maid Mary married manly Matthew Marcus Mayo,
a moody male mailman moving mostly metered mail.

337

The king would sing, about a ring that would go ding.

338

How much dough would Bob Dole dole
if Bob Dole could dole dough?
Bob Dole would dole as much dough
as Bob Dole could dole,
if Bob Dole could dole dough.

339

People pledging plenty of pennies.

340

Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.

from a pre-war English music-hall song

341

To begin to toboggan,
first buy a toboggan.
But don't buy too big a toboggan.
Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to toboggan.

342

Courtney Dworkin

personal name

343

Switch watch, wrist watch.

344

Six thick thistle sticks

345

Moses supposes his toeses are roses,
but Moses supposes erroneously.
For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
as Moses supposes his toeses to be.

Donald O'Connor and Gene Kelly in "Singing in the rain"

346

I wish I were what I was when I wished I were what I am.

347

She sells seashells on the seashore. The seashells she sells are seashore seashells.

348

Irish wristwatch

349

She had shoulder surgery.

350

To put a pipe in byte mode, type PIPE_TYPE_BYTE.

from the Visual C++ help file.

351

Three Tree Turtles

Three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters.
If three tree turtles took turns talking tongue twisters,
where's the twisters the three tree turtles talked?

352

My Friend Gladys

Oh, the sadness of her sadness when she's sad.
Oh, the gladness of her gladness when she's glad.
But the sadness of her sadness,
and the gladness of her gladness,
Are nothing like her madness when she's mad!

353

I would if I could, and if I couldn't, how could I?
You couldn't, unless you could, could you?

common school kids nonsense, circa 1910

354

real rear wheel

355

Give me the gift of a grip-top sock,
A clip drape shipshape tip top sock.
Not your spinslick slapstick slipshod stock,
But a plastic, elastic grip-top sock.
None of your fantastic slack swap slop
From a slap dash flash cash haberdash shop.
Not a knick knack knitlock knockneed knickerbocker sock
With a mock-shot blob-mottled trick-ticker top clock.
Not a supersheet seersucker rucksack sock,
Not a spot-speckled frog-freckled cheap sheik's sock
Off a hodge-podge moss-blotched scotch-botched block.
Nothing slipshod drip drop flip flop or glip glop
Tip me to a tip top grip top sock.

articulation warmup for actors

356

National Sheepshire Sheep Association

357

The crow flew over the river with a lump of raw liver.

358

The little red lorry went down Limuru road.

Limuru (Lee-moo-roo) road is a the name of a road in Kenya.

359

Flies fly but a fly flies.

360

Did Doug dig Dick's garden or did Dick dig Doug's garden?

by Paul Davies

361

If a Hottentot taught a Hottentot tot to talk ere the tot could totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought or naught or what ought to be taught 'er?

362

How many cans can a canner can if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can if a canner can can cans.

363

Federal Express is now called FedEx.
When I retire I'll be a FedEx ex.
But if I'm an officer when I retire, I'll be an ex Fedex Exec.
Then after a divorce, my ex-wife will be an ex FedEx exec's ex.
If I rejoin FedEx in time, I'd be an ex ex FedEx exec.
When we remarry, my wife will be an ex ex FedEx exec's ex.

364

Which witch snitched the stitched switch for which the Swiss witch wished?

by Ann Clark

365

Does this shop sport short socks with spots?

366

Customer: Do you have soothers?
Shopkeeper (thinking he had said "scissors"): No, we don't have scissors.
Customer: Soothers!
Shopkeeper : No, we don't have scissors or soothers.
... scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, scissors or soothers, ...

actual conversation in a shop in Canada, recorded by Don Monson

367

Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.
All day long he fits and tucks,
all day long he tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits,
and fits and tucks, and tucks and fits.
Tommy, Tommy, toiling in a tailor's shop.

368

No need to light a night-light on a light night like tonight.

369

I wish to wish, I dream to dream, I try to try, and I live to live, and I'd die to die, and I cry to cry but I dont know why.

from a Song by Soundgarden named "Somewhere" composed and written by Ben Shepherd

370

My mommy makes me muffins on Mondays.

by Tim McCauley, age 8

371

A real rare whale.

372

Terry Teeter, a teeter-totter teacher, taught her daughter Tara to teeter-totter, but Tara Teeter didn't teeter-totter as Terry Teeter taught her to.

by Pierre Abbat

373

Ken Dodd's dad's dog 's dead.

374

I bought a bit of baking powder and baked a batch of biscuits. I brought a big basket of biscuits back to the bakery and baked a basket of big biscuits. Then I took the big basket of biscuits and the basket of big biscuits and mixed the big biscuits with the basket of biscuits that was next to the big basket and put a bunch of biscuits from the basket into a biscuit mixer and brought the basket of biscuits and the box of mixed biscuits and the biscuit mixer to the bakery and opened a tin of sardines.

Said to be a diction test for would-be radio announcers: To be read clearly, without mistakes, in less than 20 seconds (from Coronet Magazine, August 1948).

375

Kanta is a masai girl. She can tie a tie and untie a tie. If Kanta can tie a tie and untie a tie, why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie?

376

I'm a mother pheasant plucker,
I pluck mother pheasants.
I'm the most pleasant mother pheasant plucker,
to ever pluck a mother pheasant. Actually, ...
I'm Not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's son.
But I'll stay and pluck the pheasants
Till the pheasant plucking 's done!

377

If you go for a gopher a gopher will go for a gopher hole.

378

Seven slick and sexy sealskin ski suits slid slowly down the slope.

379

The chief of the Leith police dismisseth us.

380

Fred Threlfall's thirty-five fine threads are finer threads than Fred Threlfall's thirty-five thick threads.

by Anthony Nichols

381

Bug's black blood, Black bug's blood

382

Reed Wade Road

name of a road in Batesville Arkansas

383

Jack's nap sack strap snapped.

384

I saw Esau sitting on a seesaw. I saw Esau; he saw me.

385

A quick witted cricket critic.

386

Hitchcock Hawk Watch Spots Record Raptors

Title of an article in the Neola Gazette

387

Sure, sir, the ship's sure shipshape, sir.

388

The Smothers brothers' father's mother's brothers are
the Smothers brothers' mother's father's other brothers.

389

One Double Dozen Double Damask Dinner Napkins

Name of a sketch written by Dion Titheradge for a London musical revue and originally performed by Cicely Courtneidge in the early 1930's. The comedienne Bea Lillie performed the sketch in an American film starring Bing Crosby in 1938, and that film's name was "Doctor Rhythm". The sketch became famous and Lillie did perform it on numerous occasions on radio, as well as record it on two 78rpm records.

390

The cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out.

391

Dear mother,
give your other udder
to my other brother.

392

Blended baby blue bug's blood blotches.

made up watching bugs splatter on the windshield ... ugh!

393

So, this is the sushi chef?

Spoken to a friend in a Japanese restaurant on the chef’s return.

394

Furnish Freddie's nursery with forty-four furry Furby Beanie Babies.

395

Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, Arnold Palmer, ...

name of the famous American golfer

396

A bitter biting bittern bit a better biting bittern
And the better biting bittern bit the bitter biting bittern back.
Said the bitter biting bittern to the better biting bittern
“I’m a bitter biting bittern bitten back”

397

Certified certificates from certified certificate certifiers.

398

Imagine, imagining imagining, an imaginary imaginary imaginary menagerie manager, imagining imagining imagining an imaginary imaginary imaginary managerie.

399

What noise annoys a noisy oyster?
Any noise annoys a noisy oyster,
but a noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most!

400

We need a plan to fan a pan; find a pan to fan, then find a fan to fan the pan, then fan the pan.

Some Korean students find difficult to pronounce difference between 'f' and 'p'.

401

How many snacks could a snack stacker stack,
if a snack stacker snacked stacked snacks?

by Christine Reynolds

402

Freddy is ready to roast red roaches.
Ready for Freddy's roasted red roaches?

403

Who washed Washington's white woolen underwear when Washington's washer-woman went west?

404

On mules we find two legs behind and two we find before.
We stand behind before we find what those behind be for.

405

Three grey geese
In a green field grazing,
Grey were the geese
And green was the grazing.

406

Susie sits shinning silver shoes

407

Ralph rakes leaves really, really lousily.

for Japanese students of English

408

Lady Luck dislikes losers.

for Japanese students of English

409

Broken back brake block

410

Mumbling, bumbling. Bumbling, mumbling.

411

Of all the felt I ever felt I never felt felt that felt like that felt felt.

412

They hatch fish at the state fish hatchery and sell hatched fish to the fish stick factory.

by Kevin Brown

413

In pine tar is. In oak none is. In mud eels are. In clay none is.

If read fast, it sounds like gibberish.

414

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sick sheep.

415

Thirty-six thick silk threads

416

Silly shoe-fly pie fans sell chilly shoe-fly pie pans.

417

Kantai can tie a tie. If Kantai can tie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie like Kantai can tie a tie.

418

The two-toed tree toad tried to tread where the three-toed tree toad trod.

419

Tricky Tristan tracked a trail of tiny turtles.
How many tiny turtles did Tricky Tristan track?
Tricky Tristan tracked twenty two tiny turtles;
that's how many tiny turtles tricky Tristan tracked.

420

Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood. If Esau Wood saw a wood saw, saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood, where is the wood saw witch would saw wood, as no wood saw would saw wood.

421

You're behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.

from Harry Potter

422

Iranian Uranium

423

Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy kiddy goat,
Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, kiddy goat.

424

He wanted to desert his dessert in the desert!

425

If a Hottentot tot taught a Hottentot tot to talk before the tot would totter, ought the Hottentot tot be taught to say ought, or naught, or what ought to be taught the Hottentot tot? If to hoot and to toot a Hottentot tot be taught by a Hottentot tutor, should the tutor get hot if the Hottentot tot hoots and toots at the Hottentot tutor?

426

There was a writer called Wright, he taught his son to write Wright right:
"It's not right to write Wright 'Rite', please try to write Wright right!"

427

Very rare vagrant wader

a "vagrant wader" is a wading bird that is not typical to a particular region

428

Crash Quiche Course

429

I broke a brickbat and a brickbat broke me.

430

A wooden worm wouldn't be worthy of worship but would he if he wondered and worried about what he would be worthy of if he wasn't wooden?

by Samy Gosselin

431

Give papa a cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup.

432

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

433

Farrell's features fabulous food 'n' fantastic fountain fantasies for frolicking, fun-filled festive families.

434

Who holds Joe's nose when he blows? Joe knows.

435

A singly circularly linked list.

436

The Final Fixing of the Foolish Fugitive

Feeling footloose, fancy-free and frisky, this feather-brained fellow finagled his fond father into forking over his fortune. Forthwith, he fled for foreign fields and frittered his farthings feasting fabulously with fair-weather friends. Finally, fleeced by those folly filled fellows and facing famine, he found him-self a feed flinger in a filthy farm-lot. He fain would have filled his frame with foraged food from fodder fragments.

"Fooey! My father's flunkies fare far fancier," the frazzled fugitive fumed feverishly, frankly facing fact.

Frustrated from failure and filled with forebodings, he fled for his family. Falling at his father's feet, he floundered forlornly. "Father, I have flunked and fruitlessly forfeited further family favors . . ."

But the faithful father, forestalling further flinching, frantically flagged his flunkies to fetch forth the finest fatling and fix a feast.

But the fugitive's fault finding frater, faithfully farming his father's fields for free, frowned at this fickle forgiveness of former falderal. His fury flashed, but fussing was futile.

His foresighted father figured, "Such filial fidelity is fine, but what forbids fervent festivities? The fugitive is found! Unfurl the flags! With fanfare flaring, let fun, frolic and frivolity flow freely, former failures forgotten and folly forsaken."

Forgiveness forms a firm foundation for future fortitude.

(Sir John Hensch of London)

437

Thirty-three thousand feathers on a thrushes throat.

438

When I went to Warsaw, I saw a saw that could outsaw any saw that I ever saw. Now, if you go to Warsaw and see a saw that could outsaw the saw I saw, I'd like to see your saw saw.

439

If practice makes perfect and perfect needs practice,
I’m perfectly practiced and practically perfect.

by Karen and Alyse Ferry

440

Six Czech cricket critics

441

Rubber Berber Gerber™ Burger

An ersatz North African taste treat ...

442

Lucid Lou slued loose the sluice that slew the slough.

443

In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire hurricanes hardly ever happen.

from My Fair Lady the musical based upon George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion

444

Thomas Tattamus took two T's to tie two tots to two tall trees.

445

Hercules, a hardy hunter, hunted a hare in the Hampshire Hills. Hit him on the head with a hard, hard hammer and he howled horribly!

446

Frank's fisher fishes on Friday for Frank's Friday fresh fried fish-fest.

by Steven Combs

447

I saw a saw in Warsaw. Of all the saws I ever saw I never saw a saw that could saw, like the saw I saw in Warsaw.

448

Dick had a dog,
the dog dug,
the dog dug deep,
how deep did Dick's dog dig?

Dick had a duck,
the duck dived,
the duck dived deep,
how deep did Dick's duck dive?

Dick's duck dived as deep as Dick's dog dug!

by Alexandra Hunt (11 years old)

449

It's a nice night for a white rice fight.

450

If a fella met a fella in a field of fitches
Can a fella tell a fella where a fella itches?

451

I feel a feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I,
If I feel a funny feel a funny feel feel I.

452

Never trust
a sloppy crust,
a squally gust,
ships that rust,
or girls with lust.

But if you must,
you may trust
to go bust,
and back to dust,
which serves you just.

on board of a Victory Ship in the 1940s

453

A sad story about Nobody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when Nobody did, what Anybody could have done.

454

Mr Knott and Mr Watt on the Phone

Hello?
Who's calling?
Watt.
What's your name?
Watt's my name.
Yes, what is your name?
My name is John Watt.
John what?
Yes.

... I'll call on you this afternoon.

All right, are you Jones?
No, I'm Knott.
Will you tell me your name, then?
Will Knott.
Why not?
My name is Knott.
Not what?
Not Watt. Knott.
What?

455

Round brown bread

the Indian bread "Roti"

456

grip glue, grip glue, grip glue, ...

457

Bob's pop-up blocker blocks Bob's pop-ups.

458

Chill, Shake, Serve, ...

459

M. R. Ducks
M.R. not Ducks
O. S. M. R.
L. I'll B.
M. R. Ducks!

460

How much cash could a sasquatch stash if a sasquatch could stash cash?

by Janet Cashman-Shipman and family

461

A cunning young canner from Canning
Once observed to his granny,
"A canner can can
a lot of things gran,
But a canner can't can a can, can he?"

462

How many ducks could a duck duct-tape, if a duck could duct-tape ducks?

463

Bad dead bed-bugs bleed bug blood.

by Mimi Routh

464

Upper roller, lower roller,
upper roller, lower roller,
upper roller, lower roller, ...

465

Bill had a billboard, Bill also had a board bill. The billboard bored Bill so Bill sold the billboard to pay for the board bill. 

466

Washington's wash woman washed Washington's wash while Washington's wife went west.

467

Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, Faith's face cloth, ...

by Monica Holmes-Lauder

468

Deer, deer, oh dear, oh dear,
your career as a deer is over here
no, no, oh no, although
your career as a skellytun's begun.

The Roadkill Song

469

The sixth sick Sikh's sixth sheep is sick.

470

Click, clap, pluck, ...

471

Mister Twister's tongue twisters, ...

472

Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, Hum-min-a, ...

sometimes said by Jackie Gleason in "The Honeymooners"

473

Mud bug, mud bug, mud bug, ...

474

Polish it in the corner. Polish it in the corner. Polish it in the corner. ...

475

I gratefully gazed at the gracefully grazing gazelles.

476

Really very weary, really very weary, really very weary, ...

477

The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep 's sick.

variation of the famous tongue twister

478

Thrushcross Grange

the name of the Linton's house in "Wuthering Heights" by Emily Brontë

479

Six sticky skeletons, six sticky skeletons, six sticky skeletons, ...

480

Sheila is selling her shop at the seashore
For shops at the seashore are so sure to lose
And she’s not so sure of what she should be selling
Should Sheila sell seashells or should she sell shoes

Danny Kaye song, arround 1930

481

A canner exceedingly canny,
One morning remarked to his granny,
A canner can can,
Anything that he can,
But a canner can't can a can; can he?

© Win Ivin

482

She sat upon a balcony, inimicably mimicking him hiccuping and amicably welcoming him in.

483

I can't believe that "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is actually a butter that I can't believe is not butter.

"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" is a butter substitute produced by Becel/Flora/Promise, a subsidiary of Unilever.

484

You name it, we claim it. If we can't get it, we'll send you to get it. If we can't send you to get it, forgit it. Who's got it, if we don't got it?

from the 1960's

485

If your Bob doesnt give our Bob that bob that your Bob owes our Bob, our Bob will give your Bob a bob in the eye.

486

V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

from the screenplay of the movie "V for Vendetta", at the beginning, when V meets Evie for the first time

487

chip shop chips

488

Velvet Revolver
Velvet Revolver
Velvet Revolver
...

489

Shine my city shoes!

repeat really fast

490

Sniff Sesh! Sniff Sesh! Sniff Sesh!

a dog sniffing a blanket

491

The Knight said, "He's", with niceties, "some nights a tease or nice at ease on nice settees".

492

How much snus could a moose on the loose use
if a moose on the loose could use loose snus?

493

Black Rock Brain Lock

494

Which Witch snitched the Snitch Witch?
Or did the Snitch Witch snitch the Witch?
If the Snitch Witch snitched the Witch
then which Witch did the Snitch Witch snitch?

by Emily Green

495

A maid named Lady Marmalade
made mainly lard and lemonade.
M'lady lamely never made
a well-named, labelled marmalade.

496

Theodore Thistle threw three thorny thistles.
How many thorny thistles did Theodore Thistle throw?

497

Silly Sally Shouldnort shaved sheep she should show soon so selling sheep shaved showed she shouldn't show shaved sheep so soon.

by James Norton

498

Cracker rapper, cracker rapper, cracker rapper, ...

by Kazia Sarpola

499

Lenny Lou leopard led leprechauns leaping like lemmings.

by Brian & Grace McKeon

500

loyal royal lawyer

501

Darn dawn dog gone!

The sometimes annoying pet canine is not at home this morning.

502

Free Ritz wristwatch.
Try saying Ritz wristwatch 5 times fast!

from the back of a Ritz cracker box

503

Six slick, slim, slender saplings.

504

Tell a tall tale of a tall tailed dog, that told Tim it tap a tall ale and thump the top of Tim's tomb.

505

Old lady Hunt had a cuzzy Funt not a cuzzy Funt but a Hunt Funt cuzzy.

506

How much juice does a fruit juice producer produce when a fruit juice producer produces fruit juice? We can deduce a fruit juice produces as much juice as a fruit juice produce can seduce from the fruit that produces juice.

507

They think that their teeth get thinner at times they want to taste thick meat.

508

Three tired tigers try to throw three trees.

509

I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

510

Ken can ken that Ken's kin can ken Ken's kin's ken.

511

The sixth shack's sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep 's sick.

512

Which Swiss witch switched the Swiss wristwatches?

by Marnie Singer

513

Cook "Cookie" Turk took Kookie Kirk a turkey cookie.

by Marnie Singer

514

How many tow trucks could a tow truck tow if a tow truck could tow tow trucks.

by Cheyenne Perry (age 10)

515

I miss my Swiss miss.
My Swiss miss misses me.

516

Now the trees are all groaning in growling, rough gales
That with thuds and hoarse roaring roll raging around!
Such leaf-rousing, branch-ruining, ripping, raw wails,
Such a terrible, thrashing and tree-wrecking sound!

by Mark Scrivener

517

Slinking, sliding, slithering slyly,
Swiftly slipping through the grasses shyly,
Silent but for swish and hiss
Is the sinuous snake's leglessness.

by Mark Scrivener

518

Corythosaurus bit the gory esophagus of the dillapitated Dilophosaurus who lived in the sorest of forests with the whacky pachy-rinosaurus and the ceratosaurus, but the most poorest and mourish panoplosaurus called Wang sang and rang chorus with the lurdusaurus and the brachiosaurus who was dying of staphylococus-aureas.

by Henry Dyne and Georgie Warden

519

How much squash could a sasquatch squish, if a sasquatch could squish squash?

520

fresh fish and fried prawns

521

She thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of her thumb.

522

It dawned on Don at dawn.

523

A snake sneaks to seek a snack.

524

A synonym for cinnamon is a cinnamon synonym.

525

Great Gate Crasher

From a personal experience at a friend's party ...

526

Sister Susie's sewing shirts for soldiers,
Such saucy soft short shirts for soldiers sister Susie sews,
Some soldiers send epistles say they'd sooner sleep on thistles,
Than those saucy soft short shirts for soldiers,
Sister Susie sews.

527

How many rats would the ruskies roast if the ruskies could roast rats?
How many cats would a caddie catch if a caddie could catch cats?

528

Rural ruler

529

Swift shift

530

An illusory vision is a visionary illusion. Is it?

531

In shoulder surgery some surgeons sew soldiers' shoulders.

by a rehabilitation medical doctor

532

Midget minute, midget minute, midget minute, ...

533

Willy's wooden whistle wouldn't whistle when Willy went wild.

534

Wilson Winston winced whilst he minced a squinting prince.

co-written by Charles C. Canoll IV and Megan L. Luke

535

If a dog chews shoes, whose shoes does he choose?

536

I thought the haughty Professor Tortoise taught ontology, but the naughty Tortoise taught us tautology.

by Dachlan Cartwright

537

Grandma Gabby Grammer grabbed a gram of gummy goulash. If Grandma Gabby Grammer grabbed a gram of gummy goulash, How many grams of gummy goulash did Grandma Gabby Grammer grab?

538

"He thrusts his fists against the posts,
and still insists he sees the ghosts."

from "It" by Stephen King submitted by Ted Scheck

539

Thrifty Theophilus, the theocratic thistle sifter, thrice thrust three thousand thistles through the slick thick of his softly throbbing thumb.

540

What's a synonym for cinnamon or is cinnamon synonym-less?

541

Dimensional analysis

542

Friskies frisbee

My friend got a frisbee with the "Friskies"-logo on it

543

Hulk Hawk is hulking the hawk, Hawk Hulk is hawking Hulk ... Hawk hugs the hedgehog

by Alexander from Russian (10 years old)

544

Rather Ruth's writhings than Roth's wrath.

by David Philips

545

The third time the three three-toed tree toads tried tying their toes together, the third three-toed tree toad tied the two three-toed tree toads toes to the third toads toes. Then the two tied three-toed tree toads told the third three-toed tree toad that tying their toes together thrilled them to their toe tips.

from a high school English class many years ago

546

Darla's dollars

547

I see he sees high seas she sees.

Minsea and Youngsea made this together in their English class

548

I saw a kitten eating chicken in the kitchen.

549

My back black brake blocks are broken.

  1. up Too wise you are. Too wise you be. I see you are. Too wise for me!
  2. up Hard for PL/I compilers to understand. The key to understanding this is that there is no lexical distinction between keywords (IF, THEN, and ELSE) and variables, which can also be IF, THEN, and ELSE. Likewise, there is no lexical distinction between testing for equality ('=') and assignment ('='). So, this means: If the variable IF is equal to the variable THEN, assign the variable ELSE to the variable THEN, otherwise, assign the variable IF to the variable ELSE. As with many tongue twisters in natural languages, this is NOT good style.
  3. up Sasquatch = Bigfoot in America
  4. up Халк Ястреб крушит ястреба, Ястреб Халк ястребит Халка ... Ястреб обнимает ежа
  5. up Meine hintere schwarze Bremsklötze sind gebrochen.

Thanks

Carol, Dennis, Jan, Karen, Michelle, Pax, Shona, Tristan, Pierre Abbat, Ashley Adams, Chris Ainge, Dan Albright, Brian Anderson, Ironman Anderson, Matt Anthos, Gillian and Nancy Autton, Margarita Baldemeca, Luke Ball, Nicole Ballou, Herb Bankston, Lucy Barker, Phill Barlow, Chris Barrett, Alexander Barrow, Toby Bartels, Terry Baumber, April Beeba, Shawna Begay, Ginny Beier, Crystal Belk, David Bell, Owen Bell, Taylor Bellehumeur, Anibal Bertolla Jr., John Biddle, Melissa Binde, J. Birch, Ben Blanchard, Roger Bloxham, Celia Bourreau, Caroline Bowen, David Bowser, Donnie Brass, Jan Bratcher, Christoph Brezinka, Sherry Briden, Kevin Brown, Brian Buckta, Kathy Budd, Alejandro Bueno Loreto, Robbie Burger, Mary Burke, Wayne Butler, Emer Byrden, Wendy Callis, Karina Camarillo, Charles C. 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Meyer, Bruce Miller, Rachel Miller, Aaron Minix, Gary Mocko, Gary Mocko, Bill Momsen, Don Monson, Tim Moran, Brian Morefield, Mark Morgan, Anton Morph, Kitty Morrow, Scott and Natalia Munson, Christian Murphy, Sharon Murphy, Arnold Musolf, Kata Nadas, Derek Nakata, Anna Naumova, Maidena Navratil, Ed Nazarko, Claire Neil, Akash Nema, Lirim Neziroski, Vinh Nguyen, Anthony Nichols, Andrea Normile, Charlotte Norton, James Norton, Brendan O Se, Cian O' Brien, Colleen O'Connor, Robert O'Connor, Kristin O'Hara, K.C. O'Leary, John O'Mahony, Helene Oldeide, Daniel Ontell, Doug Ordunio, Meredith Ottoson, Kemal Özden, Angie Palange, Nicole Palmer, Jorge Pardo, Peter Parisi, Minsea and Youngsea Park, Krupa Patel, Kevin Paul, Cheyenne Perry, Norman Perry, Jim Pettey, Jody Phelps, David Philips, Marlene Pico, John F. Potter, John Quinn, Jennifer R., Priya Rajan, Adam Ramsey, David Ramsey, Angela Rangel, Uwe Rasch, Jane Rauschenberg, Russell Ray, Levi Reiswig, Paul Reitz, Phyllis Remolador, Micah Rennels, Christine Reynolds, Timothy Richman, Sharon Richmond, Amber Ricker, Rob Rightmire, Margaret Ristaino, Carla Roach, James Robertson, Simon Rodgers, David Rodriguez, Eduardo Rodriguez, Jason Roe, Mimi Routh, Craig Rowland, Tim Roy, Anjali Sabharwal, Reiner Sahm, Eric Saindon, Hussain Sakhawat, Adam Sampson, Leonard Sandin, Michael Santoso, Kazia Sarpola, Lyndsey Savitt, Ted Scheck, Anne Jelle Schilstra, Stuart Schleuse, Simon Schoar, Josef Schumacher, Dan Schwartz, Whitney Scott, David Scriven, Mark Scrivener, Mike Scullin, Ted Seay, Debi Seft, Brenda Seher, Alapon Sen, Abhimanyu Seth, Yukesh Shakya, Terry Shampo, Elsie Shamu, Christopher Shannon, Jesse Sharrard, Nathan Shields, Bill Shore, James Shryack, Jacob Siehler, Lisyen & asiu Sien, Henry Silvia, Rita Simons, Marnie Singer, Harpreet Singh, Neville Sisson, Adam Smith, James Smith, Kevin Smith, Robert Smith, Susan Smith, Gillian Smyth, Rachel Solomon, Shubert Somer, Sonja Sonier, Zdenko Sperac, Victor Spetalnick, Diane Spunaugle, Prabhu Srinivas, Buddy Stacy, Craig Staley, Anita Stapen, Loring Starr, Bonnie Starrett, Carol Stephenson, Timothy Stewart, Oliver Stieber, Michael Straight, Jason T., Erica Tatel, Stephanie Taylor, Aly Testa, Cole Thompson, Meg Thompson, Beth Tichborne, Abdelaziz Tifouti, Andrea Tinney, Daphne Toombs, Andrea Townsend, Dieter Train, Aaron Trauger, Eric Truelsen, Tore Tunold, Ehren Turner, Mandy Tye, Nick Tyree, Ivan Uemlianin, Steve Uptegraft, Joe Urlich, Olga Uzun, Hasnain Valli, Tony Valuch, Alexander Valverde, Annchen van Heerden, Paulien van Rooij, Tasneem Vasowalla, Joseph Vespa, Caroline Villareal, Kelly Villareal, Jennifer Viola, Keith Wakefield, Bruce Walker, Steve Walsh, Jae Ward, Kenneth Warthen, Nigel Wasser, Jennifer Watnemoe, Graham Watson, Mary Watson, Graham Weeks, Briana Weinert, Raymond Weisling, Dave Wells, Dan Weltmann, Rick Whitaker, Livingston White, Mandy Whiteley, Ann Whittemore, Danny Wier, B. 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Ethnologue (Languages of the World): English


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